BECAUSE WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY IS SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT
By the way, take note of the trigger warning, so if this topic is too sensitive to you, please click out of this journal right now, I urge you.
you know what? Fuck it
I AM TIRED OF SEEING RAPE CULTURE IN BLS/YAOI, GLS/YURI AND HETEROSEXUAL MEDIA
Yes I do think it is particularly bad in Yaoi, but let us all face the goddamn truth: IT HAPPENS IN ALL KINDS OF FANWORK. ALL KINDS.
And no matter how much many fans like to target especially the yaoi fandom for this kind of shit, it happens everywhere.
So let me make the following points about rape in general:
- RAPE IS A CRIME AND IT IS DAMAGING TO ITS VICTIMS. It is taking advantage of someone in so many ways. Emotionally, physically - it damages victims. It has ruined people's lives. Victims have committed suicide because they just couldn't take it anymore. Victims live in fear - so many of them don't come forward to the police. Many victims become afraid of sexual intercourse, it disgusts them - and in fact, it can make them not want too much physical interaction of any kind (hugs, holding hands, etc). Victims feel tainted and dirty - on TV I've seen victims come forward and saying things about how ever since they were raped, they kept showering multiple times throughout the day, but they just couldn't feel clean. It causes victims to have severe depression, to have extreme trust issues... they just don't feel safe again. So many people struggle to overcome all of this - and it's tough when someone dear to you is going through all of this. It's such a sensitive subject, because it is so traumatizing for the victim, and it is such a horrible, evil crime for someone to commit.
- About 7 years ago, I knew a girl who said to me that she had been raped a year ago. 7 years ago, me and that girl were about 13-14 years old. That means she was 12/13 when it happened. At the time, I was shocked and horrified and I didn't really know what to do. But she had gotten pregnant and opted for an abortion. I don't really know much else after that, but younger me just didn't want to look into the whole thing any further - and I feel like many people have reacted in the way that I did back then: backing off and putting it out of their mind.
- But you know what I personally think is terrible? I don't care if you think abortion is wrong, but I feel that if someone has become pregnant due to rape, they should be allowed to have an abortion. No one deserves to live with something like that for 9 months that was caused by such a disgusting crime, let alone feel as if they should be the ones to deal with it - a baby that is a constant reminder of something so traumatic? I personally think that wouldn't be a blessing, I'm sorry. Even if you let the baby be adopted, it's still the victim who has to deal with the medical consequences before the birth, and they probably won't be mentally stable throughout most of the 9 month period, which could be very damaging to the child as well. But in so many countries, abortion is illegal, not even making special exceptions such as a pregnancy caused by rape. I personally think that is horrible and I feel so bad for the women that are forced to live with the constant reminder of something so disgusting.
- RAPE CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, AND BE CAUSED BY ANYONE. Yes, so many people assume rape only happens to women and is caused by men. While that is the main case, the reality is: anyone of any gender or age could rape someone. A man raping a man, a man raping a woman, a woman raping a man, a woman raping a woman. Teens, young adults, middle aged, seniors... Different ethnicities, cultures, etc. People need to realise that they can't just assume a crime happens to one select group in society. In fact, because of assumptions like these, that it only happens to women, it makes men even more scared to come forward as victims, because of the pressure for men to be all strong and macho and unable to become victims. The scary thing about crimes like these is that it can happen to anyone and anyone could do it.
EDIT EDIT EDIT
Okay so someone brought up another point in regards to rape: Victim Shaming.
I am so against victim shaming, you have no idea. It doesn't matter what a person is wearing, whether they've been drinking a lot or not, whether they flirted with someone or not - IF SOMEONE SAYS NO OR ISN'T EVEN PROVIDED WITH THE CHOICE OF NO, YOU DON'T ENGAGE THEM IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. Fucking hell. This is 2013, yes there are people who want to wear short skirts and lowcut tops and whatever, and I say power to them! Takes a lot of confidence. People need to understand that victim shaming makes the case of rape worse: it makes people afraid to come forward, because people will say it's their fault for being raped. NO.
THE PERSON AT FAULT IS THE RAPIST THEMSELVES. People need to understand that what needs to be stopped is the cause for someone to decide to rape someone else. Victims cannot be faulted. I'm sure lots of people like to flirt with others without going all the way with them. I'm sure lots of people like to get intoxicated, that doesn't mean they want to be raped as well. I'm sure lots of people don't go out in certain outfits thinking 'oh boy, gonna get raped tonight woo' IN FACT 100% OF PEOPLE GO OUT IN WHATEVER CLOTHES THEY LIKE AND NOT THINK THAT??? Why is that such a tough concept to understand?
Victim shaming, slut shaming... It needs to stop! I hate those types of shaming so much, especially since it's more often than not women shaming other women for what they do, just because 'it's not what they would do'. Excuse you, since when was it your business what someone wears and whether they're promiscuous or not? Guess what? It's none of your business.
So stop shaming victims for crimes committed against them. It is such a low and awful thing to do, and quite frankly I will despise someone who does that sort of thing to others. It's despicable, end of story.
Now, getting back to the actual subject: stopping rape culture in fanwork media!
- RAPE CULTURE IN MEDIA HAS MADE THE TRANSITION TO RAPE CULTURE IN REAL LIFE. Let me bring up a blog that tells of so many experiences where rape culture has turned fans into horrible douches that think it's okay to rape or sexually harass someone because RAPE IS SOOO KAWAII DESU~! If you read the stories on that blog and still think it's okay, give me your address and I'll get someone to come over and kick you in the face. I'm not even joking about that.
- RAPE IS RAPE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SUGARCOAT IT. So many people in fandoms have decided that rape is okay, so long as it's their ermagod favourite bishie doing it. If it's their favourite bishie doing it to the character the fan ships them with, they also throw in a "well ____ loves _____ anyway, so they were totes consenting all along~!" NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. Shut your fucking face up. If you think like that now, STOP. Let's face it, many fans during their weeaboo stages thought like this. I know I used to, and I'm so ashamed of my younger self that would even crack rape jokes in regards to anime and whatnot. Ugh. Younger me needs a kick in the face. In any case, this sort of thinking needs to be discouraged and I urge anyone who knows someone that thinks this way, TELL THEM TO STOP. Explain to them why that sort of thinking is terrible and why even joking about it is so disrespectful.
- YOU KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO FUCKING STOP: THE RAPE FACE COMMENTS. Yeah, we all know of this. Where a character has a rather perverted look, you can see all the fans that go "omg~! it's _____'s rape face!" You get people drawing their OCs with a perverted expression and they title it "____'s rape face!" They even try to make it kawaii sounding by titling it as 'raep face' and so on. I know it's just an expression and titling for it, but it is simple shit such as this that enforces rape culture in media.
- MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, RAPE IN MEDIA ISN'T HANDLED WITH RESPECT. Heck, even in TV shows, books, anything. It is such a sensitive triggering subject and the way most people treat it in fiction is awful. I can think of many fanfictions where a character rapes another character - and more often than not, those two are also the endgame pairing as '____ finally realises that they loved ____ all along, happily ever after!' NO. NO. NO NO NO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP NOPE. If you cannot take a trigger subject and treat it with the respect it deserves, then avoid it all together. Otherwise, you are being so so offensive, and triggering, and it is absolutely disgusting.
I know that rape is also an interesting subject to link into stories and whatnot, but you absolutely must consider the implications. Hell, get someone intelligent to look over your work to see if you are handling the subject with maturity before you post it anywhere. If they say you're not, listen to them and understand why you are being disrespectful.
If I had my way, all forms of fictional media would not include the subject of rape. Unfortunately, I cannot have my way, so all I can really do is try to make people as aware as I possibly can.
If anyone has any points that they would like to add, please do so in the comments.
Otherwise, please: spread the message of this journal far and wide. Whether you link back to this journal or you link back to the deviation I have put at the beginning of this journal, I don't mind. But please, rape culture is a serious subject and people need to have more understanding of what it is and why it is not okay.